Sandwiches

My rant today is on the subject of pre-made sandwiches. Specifically, why the hell don't they contain what they say on the packet.

Allow me to clarify; although I like to flatter myself by thinking I have a reasonably sophisticated palette; I still think simplicity has it's place. Especially in sandwiches. If I buy, for example, a cheese and ham sandwich I expect bread, butter, cheese, ham and perhaps some mustard. What I do not expect, want or appreciate paying for is lettuce, tomato, cucumber or other miscellaneous crap. Nor do I appreciate the spectacularly inelegant process of picking it out. Note to sandwich makers of the world; if I want that stuff in my sandwich, I will buy one with the word, "salad" in the title.

What's even worse is the covert crap. You know? When you buy a sandwich that looks like it's got the ingredients on the packet then suddenly, three bites in, you get a mouthfull of unwanted gunk. One would think this phenomenon would be confined to the cheaper sandwiches, wishing to pad out a minimal amount of good stuff with cheap fillings however it seems the more expensive the sandwich, the worse the offender.

Another offender is mayonnaise. As someone with an egg allergy, this is a health rather than a taste issue. Why, why, why is mayo included almost ubiquitously? Some ingredients warrant it; fair enough. In those cases, include it in the title. For the rest. Leave it out. Why, to take the previous example of a fairly normal sandwich, do makers see fit to use a mustard mayonnaise. I don't want bloody mustard mayo... I just want mustard! Is that really so difficult for your intellect to comprehend? And if so, should you really be in the business of preparing food?

It seems insane that in these days of almost infinite choice (the menu in Starbucks anyone?) that in an area as important as a sandwich, we are deprived of it. Is the average person really incapable of deciding whether they want salad or mayo with their meal? If so, how come their little brains don't explode when they're interrogated about their desire for flavoured syrup to go in the coffee they're ordering to go with the meal?

Madness!

JR