Merry Christmas. I hope everyone has an excellent day however they spend it.
JR
Tuesday 25 December 2012
Friday 21 December 2012
Not Dead Yet!
Congratulations all, we have seeimingly survived the apocalypse. According to the best predictions available (does anyone actually have the job title 'Mayan Apocalypse predictor', the end of the world should have been at 11.11 today. The only question now is; what am I going to do with the supplies of tinned baked beans I bought in specially?? Perhaps they can go in the post-Christmas leftover curry!
Hope everyone out there is well.
More posts to follow soon.
JR
Hope everyone out there is well.
More posts to follow soon.
JR
Sunday 16 December 2012
Designer Labels
I have recently been the beneficiary of quite an extraordinary stroke of good fortune. Someone I know happened to come by an extensive amount of designer kit, none of which fitted him, all of which fitted me.
As a result of this I have fallen heir to a suede jacket, leather jacket, cashmere overcoat and a beautiful two piece suit. All of these were made by the same designer. All fitted like they had been tailored and cumulatively, worth about three thousand quid (to the extent that I'm thinking about declaring them on the insurance policy).
Ironically, I've never been a massive fan of designer labels. Yes I wear an Omega watch and write with a Cross or Mont Blanc pen but in all those cases I am confident that the money was spent buying the best available rather than the label. Similarly Oakley or Ray Ban sunglasses can be afforded similar praise. They go beyond labels to be market leaders.
Therefore my initial excitement about the news was due to the fact that I desperately needed a new overcoat and navy blue suit rather than the fact that they were designer. That fact was largely by the way (or obeter dictum) in my mind. It still is to be honest. That said, bloody hell the designer knows his job. The suit jacket was cut beautifully. The sleeves were a bit on the short side which is how I like wearing them since I habitually wear double cuffs and cuff links. The trousers were the only pair I have tried on in years that fitted me perfectly. In addition to this, the over coat hit the mark perfectly.
All in all, I scored seriously lucky. Although I'm still reticent about designer labels for the sake of them, I'm willing to admit these ones are wonderful. That said, if I'm paying the money they're asking, I'm going to a tailor and getting stuff made bespoke.
For now though, I'm very happy to be a clothes horse. A model even!
JR
As a result of this I have fallen heir to a suede jacket, leather jacket, cashmere overcoat and a beautiful two piece suit. All of these were made by the same designer. All fitted like they had been tailored and cumulatively, worth about three thousand quid (to the extent that I'm thinking about declaring them on the insurance policy).
Ironically, I've never been a massive fan of designer labels. Yes I wear an Omega watch and write with a Cross or Mont Blanc pen but in all those cases I am confident that the money was spent buying the best available rather than the label. Similarly Oakley or Ray Ban sunglasses can be afforded similar praise. They go beyond labels to be market leaders.
Therefore my initial excitement about the news was due to the fact that I desperately needed a new overcoat and navy blue suit rather than the fact that they were designer. That fact was largely by the way (or obeter dictum) in my mind. It still is to be honest. That said, bloody hell the designer knows his job. The suit jacket was cut beautifully. The sleeves were a bit on the short side which is how I like wearing them since I habitually wear double cuffs and cuff links. The trousers were the only pair I have tried on in years that fitted me perfectly. In addition to this, the over coat hit the mark perfectly.
All in all, I scored seriously lucky. Although I'm still reticent about designer labels for the sake of them, I'm willing to admit these ones are wonderful. That said, if I'm paying the money they're asking, I'm going to a tailor and getting stuff made bespoke.
For now though, I'm very happy to be a clothes horse. A model even!
JR
Wednesday 12 December 2012
Mr Favourite Books
I was asked the other day for some book recommendations to pass on for use as Christmas presents. Naturally this made me think of books I have read and enjoyed over the years. Now being the type of person that I am, I rather like lists so I thought I would compile a list of my 10 favourite books. Although this list will appear as a numbered list, it does not particularly reflect the ranking of the book within the list. As the title of the blog suggests, it's more of a stream of consciousness and the titles are noted down as they occur to me. So without further ado:
1. Casino Royale - Ian Fleming. Bond has been a life long passion for me. I love just about everything about it and this book was the starting point. Ian Fleming sat down to write the best spy story ever written and this is the result. Whether it is the best Bond book or not is a subject for discussion another day but as the start of something wonderful it deserves a place.
2. Looking for Trouble - General Sir Peter De La Billiere. I am a huge fan of the military autobiography genre and there are many books that have a good case to be on this list. I picked this particular for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because it is so incredible. The truth really does beat fiction in some cases and this is one. If some of the feats achieved in this book were shown in the cinema, audiences would scoff at how utterly impossible they were. Secondly, the narrative throughout the book is fantastic. Not only is the author an excellent storyteller, recounting events from his own life, he expertly puts them in a wider social and military context.
3. Hound of the Baskervilles - Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle. Again I love the genre of crime fiction and I had to be quite strict with my self to stop myself picking more than one "whodunit". Sherlock Holmes was picked because, in my opinion, he was one of the best and no doubt has subtle influences on contemporary crime fiction. Most lifeguards will secretly (or drunkenly) admit that Baywatch played a part in them becoming a lifeguard and likewise I'll bet most crime novelists will give Conan-Doyle some of the credit.
4. Chart Throb - Ben Elton. I think this is a fantastic comic novel (but from the man who wrote Blackadder do you expect much less?) For those of you who haven't read it, it's an amusing satire on Britain's got Talent/X-factor style programmes. Elton has written a lot of satirical novels in the past where current affairs of the day are only thinly disguised by the characters however I think this one is one of the best.
5. Schott's Whisky Miscellany. As you may have guessed I love lists, trivia and wondering off on interesting little tangents. This book provides all three in buckets and combines them with a vast amount of fascinating information about whisky... something about which I'm passionate. There is the perfect balance between basic knowledge, detailed technical stuff, funny asides and misty heather-strewn hillsides.
6. Whisky Kitchen. Continuing the whisky theme, this book is my favourite cook book. Even if the recipes didn't contain whisky, the food suggested is incredible, easy to prepare but still challenging if even one feels like pushing one's boundaries. Having learned a lot of basic techniques from this book I have gained confidence to start experimenting.
7. Vander's Human Physiology. My degree was in Human Biology and I still remain fascinated by the subject. This is one of the text books that I used throughout my degree and for that alone I view it with a great deal of fondness. But even stripping away the nostalgia I think it's a great book. It's clear, well laid out and explains most complex concepts now.
8. The Witches - Roald Dahl. When I was younger I absolutely adored pretty much anything which emerged from Dahl's pen. The Witches was one of my favourites (although trying to pick an out and out favourite from his work is like trying to pick the most adorable puppy in a litter). This one was chosen also because it was a personal milestone for me. When I was younger I had this as a talking book. My young self was terrified by the spooky theme music until one day I decided to face my fears and listen to the rest of the tape. Naturally I found out that the rest of the story was rather good and for a long time afterwards I felt rather proud of myself for daring to listen.
9. Five go to Billycock Hill - Enid Blyton. Enid Blyton was another favourite childhood author and contributed greatly to my love of books. She is probably also directly responsible for my love of crime fiction. This particular tome was chosen for no other reason that I can remember the title and vaguely remember the plot.
10. My 10th book I really struggled with; not because of my lack of inspiration but because there are so many I would love to put in this post. I will settly for Billy by Pamela Stephenson. A book about a comedian was always going to be funny but this is a book about a comedian by his wife who is also a comedian. As you can imagine, it's hilarious; even the bits that aren't meant to be. An example of this was when I was on the bus reading about the child abuse he suffered when he was younger... with tears of laughter running down my face. There are times when his wife puts on her psychiatrist's hat too giving one a fascinating insight into Billy's consciousness.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed my ramble through what I would consider as some great books. If you have read/are thinking of reading any of them, let me know what you think of them.
JR
1. Casino Royale - Ian Fleming. Bond has been a life long passion for me. I love just about everything about it and this book was the starting point. Ian Fleming sat down to write the best spy story ever written and this is the result. Whether it is the best Bond book or not is a subject for discussion another day but as the start of something wonderful it deserves a place.
2. Looking for Trouble - General Sir Peter De La Billiere. I am a huge fan of the military autobiography genre and there are many books that have a good case to be on this list. I picked this particular for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because it is so incredible. The truth really does beat fiction in some cases and this is one. If some of the feats achieved in this book were shown in the cinema, audiences would scoff at how utterly impossible they were. Secondly, the narrative throughout the book is fantastic. Not only is the author an excellent storyteller, recounting events from his own life, he expertly puts them in a wider social and military context.
3. Hound of the Baskervilles - Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle. Again I love the genre of crime fiction and I had to be quite strict with my self to stop myself picking more than one "whodunit". Sherlock Holmes was picked because, in my opinion, he was one of the best and no doubt has subtle influences on contemporary crime fiction. Most lifeguards will secretly (or drunkenly) admit that Baywatch played a part in them becoming a lifeguard and likewise I'll bet most crime novelists will give Conan-Doyle some of the credit.
4. Chart Throb - Ben Elton. I think this is a fantastic comic novel (but from the man who wrote Blackadder do you expect much less?) For those of you who haven't read it, it's an amusing satire on Britain's got Talent/X-factor style programmes. Elton has written a lot of satirical novels in the past where current affairs of the day are only thinly disguised by the characters however I think this one is one of the best.
5. Schott's Whisky Miscellany. As you may have guessed I love lists, trivia and wondering off on interesting little tangents. This book provides all three in buckets and combines them with a vast amount of fascinating information about whisky... something about which I'm passionate. There is the perfect balance between basic knowledge, detailed technical stuff, funny asides and misty heather-strewn hillsides.
6. Whisky Kitchen. Continuing the whisky theme, this book is my favourite cook book. Even if the recipes didn't contain whisky, the food suggested is incredible, easy to prepare but still challenging if even one feels like pushing one's boundaries. Having learned a lot of basic techniques from this book I have gained confidence to start experimenting.
7. Vander's Human Physiology. My degree was in Human Biology and I still remain fascinated by the subject. This is one of the text books that I used throughout my degree and for that alone I view it with a great deal of fondness. But even stripping away the nostalgia I think it's a great book. It's clear, well laid out and explains most complex concepts now.
8. The Witches - Roald Dahl. When I was younger I absolutely adored pretty much anything which emerged from Dahl's pen. The Witches was one of my favourites (although trying to pick an out and out favourite from his work is like trying to pick the most adorable puppy in a litter). This one was chosen also because it was a personal milestone for me. When I was younger I had this as a talking book. My young self was terrified by the spooky theme music until one day I decided to face my fears and listen to the rest of the tape. Naturally I found out that the rest of the story was rather good and for a long time afterwards I felt rather proud of myself for daring to listen.
9. Five go to Billycock Hill - Enid Blyton. Enid Blyton was another favourite childhood author and contributed greatly to my love of books. She is probably also directly responsible for my love of crime fiction. This particular tome was chosen for no other reason that I can remember the title and vaguely remember the plot.
10. My 10th book I really struggled with; not because of my lack of inspiration but because there are so many I would love to put in this post. I will settly for Billy by Pamela Stephenson. A book about a comedian was always going to be funny but this is a book about a comedian by his wife who is also a comedian. As you can imagine, it's hilarious; even the bits that aren't meant to be. An example of this was when I was on the bus reading about the child abuse he suffered when he was younger... with tears of laughter running down my face. There are times when his wife puts on her psychiatrist's hat too giving one a fascinating insight into Billy's consciousness.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed my ramble through what I would consider as some great books. If you have read/are thinking of reading any of them, let me know what you think of them.
JR
Monday 10 December 2012
Electronic Cigarettes
I read in the paper today that, for the first time in years, cigarettes will now be advertised on American television. Rather than the traditional paper and tobacco products, the cigarettes in question are the new electronic cigarettes or - more accurately - an electronic cylindrical device designed to deliver a dose of nicotine to the user when it is sucked.
Predictably the anti-smoking lobby are up in arms about this complaining that it's setting their cause back by years.
But is it? All the research I have seen suggests that these electronic cigarettes are relatively safe (albeit I have only seen it in the popular press so haven't been able to really puzzle through the source data with my scientist hat on). The main arguments that are being used against them is that a) they still deliver nicotine (which is true BUT nicotine can actually be quite beneficial in a multitude of biological processes and occurs in the body in a similar form) and b) that it encourages people to smoke... which it does but it encourages people away from traditional tobacco products and towards these new ones.
To be honest, I wish they would just bugger off. I am not a smoker nor do I find smoking particularly pleasant. I don't like the smell (especially if I've got a headache or am feeling sick), I hate the litter generated and the queues generated at supermarket kiosks when I'm trying to get out quickly are unbearable. That said, what I hate even more is an interfering nanny state trying to run my life for me. It is for this reason that I am also against the smoking ban in pubs and clubs.
Yes smoking is bad for people. Yes it causes disease. But, if people still want to smoke while well aware of the dangers then please, please piss off and let them. Politicians take note; you obviously think the electorate are clever enough to elect you. Well then, they are clever enough to make their own choices when it comes to their own smoking (and drinking) behaviour. We don't need you passing laws telling us what to do with every aspect of our lives. Where will it end? Will there come a day where we have to get a permit just to have a shag lest we pick up an STI or unplanned pregnancy. Or will we have to fill out a form in triplicate just to have a pint. Please guys, concentrate on fixing the economy and restoring law and order to our streets and let us have a few pleasures, however unwholesome, in our lives.
I know the anti-smoking lobby isn't directly related to government but it's symptomatic of the general nanny-state culture where anything regarded as not entirely desireable is pilloried out of existance.
These are our lives (and we only have one). Let us live them - or ban some genuinely objectionable things too. If you're looking for ideas then may I suggest; driving in the middle lane at 60mpg, vegetarianism and being so engrossed in your smartphone that you don't look before crossing the road.
That is all.
JR
Predictably the anti-smoking lobby are up in arms about this complaining that it's setting their cause back by years.
But is it? All the research I have seen suggests that these electronic cigarettes are relatively safe (albeit I have only seen it in the popular press so haven't been able to really puzzle through the source data with my scientist hat on). The main arguments that are being used against them is that a) they still deliver nicotine (which is true BUT nicotine can actually be quite beneficial in a multitude of biological processes and occurs in the body in a similar form) and b) that it encourages people to smoke... which it does but it encourages people away from traditional tobacco products and towards these new ones.
To be honest, I wish they would just bugger off. I am not a smoker nor do I find smoking particularly pleasant. I don't like the smell (especially if I've got a headache or am feeling sick), I hate the litter generated and the queues generated at supermarket kiosks when I'm trying to get out quickly are unbearable. That said, what I hate even more is an interfering nanny state trying to run my life for me. It is for this reason that I am also against the smoking ban in pubs and clubs.
Yes smoking is bad for people. Yes it causes disease. But, if people still want to smoke while well aware of the dangers then please, please piss off and let them. Politicians take note; you obviously think the electorate are clever enough to elect you. Well then, they are clever enough to make their own choices when it comes to their own smoking (and drinking) behaviour. We don't need you passing laws telling us what to do with every aspect of our lives. Where will it end? Will there come a day where we have to get a permit just to have a shag lest we pick up an STI or unplanned pregnancy. Or will we have to fill out a form in triplicate just to have a pint. Please guys, concentrate on fixing the economy and restoring law and order to our streets and let us have a few pleasures, however unwholesome, in our lives.
I know the anti-smoking lobby isn't directly related to government but it's symptomatic of the general nanny-state culture where anything regarded as not entirely desireable is pilloried out of existance.
These are our lives (and we only have one). Let us live them - or ban some genuinely objectionable things too. If you're looking for ideas then may I suggest; driving in the middle lane at 60mpg, vegetarianism and being so engrossed in your smartphone that you don't look before crossing the road.
That is all.
JR
Thursday 6 December 2012
A Depressing Irony
As you may or may not have heard, the militant wing of the Braveheart fan club (or the Scottish National Party as they would prefer to be known) is campaigning hard for independence. As well as covering their faces in wode (that interesting blue colour) and shouting, "Freeeeeeeeeedooooommmmmm!" terribly loudly they have secured a referendum on independence. Now they are quibbling over which confusing form of words the ballot paper will assume in order to obtain the results they want.
While they are debating the critical question, the members of the party are busy strutting around as if the whole thing is a done deal. This is all rather sad and best ignored in favour of the magnificent glens, the mighty hills, the sublime whisky and, if you're feeling kitch, shortbread from a tartan tin shaped like a Scottie dog.
However one issue that was raised today and really makes my blood boil is the issue of Europe. According to the SNP, an independent Scotland would carry on in Europe as if nothing has happened. According to Europe, an independent Scotland will have to re-apply for admission and potentially face some fairly stiff competition from the likes of Spain who don't want a precedent set. The question that is making me down right angry is why the HELL is the SNP bending over backwards, forwards and every which bloody way to gain sovereignty from the rest of Britain only to surrender it again to bloody Europe of all cases. Leaving aside the fiddly bits of academic constitutional theory for another day it's just so mindlessly bloody stupid.
This is the one potential advantage to independence and the SNP are planning on frittering it away like Britain's rebate was frittered away in the mid-90's and for what? So the already overburdened taxpayer can fork out more of their hard-earned cash to an organisation that only makes their daily lives harder. Really fucking clever there.
Rant over.
JR
While they are debating the critical question, the members of the party are busy strutting around as if the whole thing is a done deal. This is all rather sad and best ignored in favour of the magnificent glens, the mighty hills, the sublime whisky and, if you're feeling kitch, shortbread from a tartan tin shaped like a Scottie dog.
However one issue that was raised today and really makes my blood boil is the issue of Europe. According to the SNP, an independent Scotland would carry on in Europe as if nothing has happened. According to Europe, an independent Scotland will have to re-apply for admission and potentially face some fairly stiff competition from the likes of Spain who don't want a precedent set. The question that is making me down right angry is why the HELL is the SNP bending over backwards, forwards and every which bloody way to gain sovereignty from the rest of Britain only to surrender it again to bloody Europe of all cases. Leaving aside the fiddly bits of academic constitutional theory for another day it's just so mindlessly bloody stupid.
This is the one potential advantage to independence and the SNP are planning on frittering it away like Britain's rebate was frittered away in the mid-90's and for what? So the already overburdened taxpayer can fork out more of their hard-earned cash to an organisation that only makes their daily lives harder. Really fucking clever there.
Rant over.
JR
A Beginner's Guide to Acting English.
Evening all. Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I've just started a new job and I've been fully concentrating on trying to make a good impression there.
Anyway, despite the heading, tonight's post won't follow the same format as a previous post about being Scottish. I'm not English after all so I'm not exactly best placed to comment on acting it! Instead I'm going to write about Shappi Khorsandi's autobiography which shares the title.
For those of you that don't know, Shappi Khorsandi is an Iranian-born comedian who is currently very big on the stand up circuit and is one of my personal favourites. She is seemingly effortlessly funny combining the mundane with the ridiculous and a good chunk of the serious in her routines.
Beneath the seemingly normal middle-class lady with an extraordinary ability to make people laugh is a more profound story and, refreshingly, it is this that the book concentrates on rather than her rise to fame.
Khorsandi moved to England as a small child with her family in the 80's (before it became fashionable as she puts it). Her father is an Iranian satirist who fell foul of the new regime. Quickly his position in Iran became untenable and he moved to England with his wife and children.
The book starts by describing Shappi's early life in Iran and then goes on to describe the move to London. A major theme is her desperation to fit in with her peers and she regularly describes her frustration at her mother's inability (and unwillingness) to comprehend the subtleties of certain aspects of British life. Lot's of this centres around the issue of food and it's power to unite or divide. Fish fingers and cheese sandwiches were two particular examples that stuck in my mind. Khorsandi also describes in some detail the reactions of others to her. Pleasingly the stories of racism are balanced by tales of kindness and generosity ranging from supportive and encouraging teachers to downstairs neighbours that indoctrinate her and her brother into British biscuits. The overall impression I took from it was that she and her family experienced general kindness and good-humour on their arrival which is refreshing to hear.
Another theme that runs throughout the book is the continuing trouble her father suffered at the hands of the Iranian authorities. Despite the fact that they were in exile in England, the regime sent assassins after Khorsandi snr necessitating a period spent in hiding (that did not go quite to plan). Before this sounds too sensationalist, Shappi recounts stories of other enemies of the Iranian regime who came to violent ends.
The book is written from the perspective of a child (albeit a very articulate one) which adds a layer of charm to the writing. It also reflects the priorities of a child which leads to moments of genuine hilarity despite the fact that the book isn't written for laughs. It also creates very moving moments: particularly when she reproduces letters she penned to the Shah of Iran begging him not to kill her father because she loved him so much and assuring him that, should the two ever meet, they would get on. It reflects how terrifying the situation must have been for a small child who was barely able to understand what was going on but grasped the gravity of the situation anyway.
I really enjoyed reading this and would recommend it even if you are not a fan of Khorsandi's comedy. As I say, the book isn't written for laughs and only has occasional mention of her later career. Instead it serves as a fascinating account of London in the '80s from an outsider's perspective and from a child's perspective. It also offers a succinct and clear account of the political upheaval occurring in Iran at the time; not something of which I was previously aware but something I have gone on to find out about through interested generated by the book.
Well worth a read.
JR
Anyway, despite the heading, tonight's post won't follow the same format as a previous post about being Scottish. I'm not English after all so I'm not exactly best placed to comment on acting it! Instead I'm going to write about Shappi Khorsandi's autobiography which shares the title.
For those of you that don't know, Shappi Khorsandi is an Iranian-born comedian who is currently very big on the stand up circuit and is one of my personal favourites. She is seemingly effortlessly funny combining the mundane with the ridiculous and a good chunk of the serious in her routines.
Beneath the seemingly normal middle-class lady with an extraordinary ability to make people laugh is a more profound story and, refreshingly, it is this that the book concentrates on rather than her rise to fame.
Khorsandi moved to England as a small child with her family in the 80's (before it became fashionable as she puts it). Her father is an Iranian satirist who fell foul of the new regime. Quickly his position in Iran became untenable and he moved to England with his wife and children.
The book starts by describing Shappi's early life in Iran and then goes on to describe the move to London. A major theme is her desperation to fit in with her peers and she regularly describes her frustration at her mother's inability (and unwillingness) to comprehend the subtleties of certain aspects of British life. Lot's of this centres around the issue of food and it's power to unite or divide. Fish fingers and cheese sandwiches were two particular examples that stuck in my mind. Khorsandi also describes in some detail the reactions of others to her. Pleasingly the stories of racism are balanced by tales of kindness and generosity ranging from supportive and encouraging teachers to downstairs neighbours that indoctrinate her and her brother into British biscuits. The overall impression I took from it was that she and her family experienced general kindness and good-humour on their arrival which is refreshing to hear.
Another theme that runs throughout the book is the continuing trouble her father suffered at the hands of the Iranian authorities. Despite the fact that they were in exile in England, the regime sent assassins after Khorsandi snr necessitating a period spent in hiding (that did not go quite to plan). Before this sounds too sensationalist, Shappi recounts stories of other enemies of the Iranian regime who came to violent ends.
The book is written from the perspective of a child (albeit a very articulate one) which adds a layer of charm to the writing. It also reflects the priorities of a child which leads to moments of genuine hilarity despite the fact that the book isn't written for laughs. It also creates very moving moments: particularly when she reproduces letters she penned to the Shah of Iran begging him not to kill her father because she loved him so much and assuring him that, should the two ever meet, they would get on. It reflects how terrifying the situation must have been for a small child who was barely able to understand what was going on but grasped the gravity of the situation anyway.
I really enjoyed reading this and would recommend it even if you are not a fan of Khorsandi's comedy. As I say, the book isn't written for laughs and only has occasional mention of her later career. Instead it serves as a fascinating account of London in the '80s from an outsider's perspective and from a child's perspective. It also offers a succinct and clear account of the political upheaval occurring in Iran at the time; not something of which I was previously aware but something I have gone on to find out about through interested generated by the book.
Well worth a read.
JR
Monday 3 December 2012
It's OFFICIAL! Kate Middleton has announced she is pregnant.
It's official. The Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant. The announcements have got as far as the national press (and why wouldn't we disbelieve anything they print). Refreshingly in this post-Levison era, the news came from the couple themselves rather than a journalist rummaging through the bins at Kensington Palace and finding a pregnancy test/burst condom.
The announcement reads that the Duchess is expecting a baby which I suppose is a bit of a relief. If she was expecting a puppy then some serious questions would have to be asked!
Joking aside, congratulations to both of them. I hope it goes well and they have a healthy, happy child at the end of it.
JR
The announcement reads that the Duchess is expecting a baby which I suppose is a bit of a relief. If she was expecting a puppy then some serious questions would have to be asked!
Joking aside, congratulations to both of them. I hope it goes well and they have a healthy, happy child at the end of it.
JR
Saturday 1 December 2012
Comebacks
You know sometimes somebody says something (usually in some way offensive) and at the time, you're lost for words then some time later you think of the perfect response? Usually this happens minutes to hours later and you debate the merits of phoning them to share your return observation.
Well something something similar happened to me the other day except it was YEARS after the event.
When I was a nipper I remember my mum talking to one of her friends. A bit of an Uber mum... you know the kind; her kids are perfect and whatever your kids do, hers can do better, have done already or would never dream of doing depending on the situation (they have turned out to be muppets if you're interested). On this occasion, for some reason, my mum was talking about a dish she had made up and how much I liked it (I wasn't the fussiest of eaters but I wasn't a human food hoover either). This prompted my mother's friends smugly to pipe up, "Well my kids eat what's put in front of them!"
Naturally even then my first thought ran to - wanker!
What I should have said, and I only thought of recently, was, "Well lucky for you that your kids have palettes made of cow's arse leather!"
As comebacks go, it's not the best ever. It's not even the best one I've ever come up with. Still it has it's merits. It is doubly offensive in that it implies a) that her kids are a bit dim and b) that she's a rubbish cook.
Anyway, like I say, this occurred to me the other day and I couldn't resist sharing it.
Have a good Saturday.
JR
Well something something similar happened to me the other day except it was YEARS after the event.
When I was a nipper I remember my mum talking to one of her friends. A bit of an Uber mum... you know the kind; her kids are perfect and whatever your kids do, hers can do better, have done already or would never dream of doing depending on the situation (they have turned out to be muppets if you're interested). On this occasion, for some reason, my mum was talking about a dish she had made up and how much I liked it (I wasn't the fussiest of eaters but I wasn't a human food hoover either). This prompted my mother's friends smugly to pipe up, "Well my kids eat what's put in front of them!"
Naturally even then my first thought ran to - wanker!
What I should have said, and I only thought of recently, was, "Well lucky for you that your kids have palettes made of cow's arse leather!"
As comebacks go, it's not the best ever. It's not even the best one I've ever come up with. Still it has it's merits. It is doubly offensive in that it implies a) that her kids are a bit dim and b) that she's a rubbish cook.
Anyway, like I say, this occurred to me the other day and I couldn't resist sharing it.
Have a good Saturday.
JR
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