A Strange Experience.

One part of my life that I haven't mentioned up until now is my work for a private ambulance service. This is essentially St. John Ambulance style work but paid. I'm trying to do a fair bit at the moment to get by while looking for a "proper job". After that it will be good to be able to get a bit of additional pocket money, especially if any unforeseen (or foreseen for that matter) expenses crop up.

I was working yesterday in a club that runs on Sunday afternoons. It was quite a surreal experience all round. Usually when I'm in a club, I'm the one partying (this venue being no exception) so first-off it was a bit strange to see the place sober and smelling fresh. To be honest, being in a club sober isn't as bad as I was expecting. I quite like cheesy music anyway and it was nice to emerge richer rather than poorer. As I was wearing a t-shirt with the word, "Medic" all over it I had a laugh with a lot of the patrons who came up and started shooting the shit. The bouncers were nice lads too and were great at keeping an eye on me when things began to look a bit interesting at a couple of points.

One thing that did surprise me was just how loud these places are. I never really noticed before; probably due to the combined effects of alcohol and the fact that it's usually about midnight before I go anywhere near a club. I always carry ear defenders as part of my personal kit, many of my colleagues do the same since you never know when it can get noisy (Notting Hill Carnival and music festivals are the obvious ones but I have been known to use them at football matches and fireworks events too). I'm glad I do now since the volume in this place was ear-splitting. (Why? I appreciate a certain volume creates a party atmosphere but then it's just noise for the sake of noise.) I am now genuinely worried about the effects of previous clubbing experiences on my ears.

In addition to the volume, the prevailing atmosphere in the place was one of a market. I know people don't go clubbing to dance (or for sensibly priced drinks for that matter)... I certainly didn't. The vast majority of people there are there to get drunk, do silly things with their mates and hopefully meet someone to share various levels of intimacy with. So far so good. The scale of the meat market here however was genuinely shocking. To start with, undressed seemed to be the prevailing dress code (fair enough, call it advertising) but what really surprised and disappointed me was things that went on in the club. Firstly there was a period where girls only were allowed on stage (displaying the goods?). To add to this, throughout the event, images of the revellers were projected into large screens along with captions. Fairly frequently, the image would be one of a girl with the caption, "Get your tits out". Many did. Some quickly and without hesitation. Some more slowly and with a bit of mental preparation. Some with the aid of their "mates".

My first reaction to this was, "Brilliant! Boobs!" I am a straight bloke in his 20s after all. I think my girlfriend is gorgeous and I'm very happy with her but I can't help enjoying seeing the female form (for a good description of how us blokes feel, watch Jack Davenport's rant in "Coupling"). However that reaction changed to one of mild disgust after a few seconds. From a legal point of view, would this action not be classed as indecent exposure? It's not uncommon for lads doing the same (getting pissed and pulling their trousers down) to end up on the sex-offenders register. Political points about the CPS focusing their efforts on fundamentally decent people rather than hardened criminals aside, this seems a bit unfair. In addition to this, the "mates" dragging down bras and tops are potentially committing sexual assault.

Legal bit aside what about the social consequences of this? I would not be impressed if my girlfriend did this either while we were together or before. I know anatomically boobs are modified sweat glands surrounded in fat and wrapped in skin however they have very sexual connotations. I like my girlfriend's boobs. They're pretty. What I also like is the intimacy created by being the only person other than her that can see them. Demonstrating to a girl that your a decent guy worth sharing her body with inevitably brings you closer and creates a bond and I think makes the physical stuff more fun. Knowing that everybody and their cousin has seen your girlfriend with her kit off would surely destroy this.

On a wider scale; what sort of messages are these girls sending out. This has been the subject of much debate and controversy in the media. There is a vocal group of commentators saying that ladies should be able to wear what they want and act how they please and anything else is just repressive. This is one point of view but unfortunately nobody lives in a bubble and the actions of individuals has consequences for the environment around them.

Clothing and actions send out messages (why else do we dress smartly for job interviews) and in this case, skimpy clothes and baring breasts sends out a message of sexual availability. As a guy, navigating the minefield that is women in a club is daunting. Many times I have been rebuffed by girls wearing virtually nothing and overtly coveting attention. This is fair enough. I know I'm not blessed with the looks of Sean Connery (although neither am I cursed with the looks of Alex Salmond). Most girls are sweet about it, yet more are polite. Some however (and in my experience usually the ones dressed and acting the most provocatively) are outraged that I have had the temerity and the gall to chat them up. Go figure... I can't. Before I sound like more of a dinosaur than I am, I will say the obvious in that it's a girl's absolute right to reject unwanted advances (as it is a guy's right to do the same). I am simply highlighting that if people choose to seek the attention of others, then they can't be surprised when they receive it.

Most of the time this attention will be harmless flirtation but it worries me that girls, by acting this way, may be exposing themselves not only to rowdy crowds in a club but to great personal risk. Again to clarify, I am not for a second saying that, "she was asking for it" is in any way appropriate as a response to accusations of sexual violence against women. Neither am I saying that men are incapable of restraining their sexual urges. We are. However, to me, it makes sense that coveting the attention of lots of people with overtly sexual displays may well, as an unintended consequence, attract the attention of the wrong sort of person as well. Debates about the rights and wrongs of this statement could rage for eternity and beyond. It is simply my perception of the current situation. Ultimately, it is said because I believe nobody should have to go through the trauma of sexual crimes and a moments consideration of ones actions could prevent this.

I know this post is controversial. I am also aware that I have put a lot of caveats in what I say: not something I am used to and certainly not something my friends would recognise in me. It is done in recognition of the sensitive nature of the topic, my acute awareness of the complexities and an acknowledgement that these are my opinions and I certainly don't claim to be an authority on any of the subjects discussed nor do I claim to have all the answers. I will end on more of a certain note. Girls, for everyone's sake, think about the length of the skirt (they can't be comfortable anyway) and "keep your tits in", unless your my girlfriend... and we're alone... in which case, "get 'em out luv!"

JR