And Finally...

Pubs throughout the world are filled with men who enjoy beer, food, smoking, seducing women (or trying to) and cricket. Until recently, Shane Warne was one of those men. Utterly normal as a bloke apart from his famed cricketing ability.

Not so now. Mr Warne has metamorphosed since starting a relationship with Elizabeth Hurley. He is now an emaciated shadow of his former self. It's a sad day.

When I first found out he was going out with Ms Hurley, my spirits lifted. I'm not a huge fan of celebrity gossip but it was reassuring such a seemingly ordinary lad can win the affections of Liz Hurley... THE Liz Hurley. One of the most beautiful women to grace this planet. I'm sure it gave every straight bloke in the world a confidence boost to know that the pretty girl you have your eye on might just be in your league. It's akin to waking up one day and finding out your flatmate is going out with Pippa Middleton (I will overlook the fact that a contemporary at Uni. recently got married to her sister... apparently he has quite an important granny).

Now he has become a polished metrosexual. Eyebrow shaping... really? From being the guy in the pub that starts a brawl just for the hell of it, he now looks like the guy that legs it into a trendy vodka bar when things start flying (Shane, if you're reading and this isn't the case, my local serves some excellent ale and a decent curry. Let's have a beer... or two...). In short he looks well and truly under the thumb

I suppose any other outcome was a bit much to hope for. If I'm honest with myself, I will admit to being under the thumb as would most of my mates in relationships. It's not a position we cherish but most of the time, it's easier to go along with whatever she wants. We might even be allowed to go to the pub if we're really good. My disappointment comes from the fact that Mr Warne was so nearly a dream come true. Not only did he have a beautiful girlfriend, but he could have continued to be and exemplary typical bloke.

I'm going on a night out with my St. John Ambulance division tonight. Naturally my girlfriend will be there too. I will raise a glass to all us lads under the thumb fighting the confusion of being quietly grateful for a beautiful girlfriend whilst being quietly confused as to just what happened to the bloke we used to be... if I'm allowed to of course!