Comebacks

You know sometimes somebody says something (usually in some way offensive) and at the time, you're lost for words then some time later you think of the perfect response? Usually this happens minutes to hours later and you debate the merits of phoning them to share your return observation.

Well something something similar happened to me the other day except it was YEARS after the event.

When I was a nipper I remember my mum talking to one of her friends. A bit of an Uber mum... you know the kind; her kids are perfect and whatever your kids do, hers can do better, have done already or would never dream of doing depending on the situation (they have turned out to be muppets if you're interested). On this occasion, for some reason, my mum was talking about a dish she had made up and how much I liked it (I wasn't the fussiest of eaters but I wasn't a human food hoover either). This prompted my mother's friends smugly to pipe up, "Well my kids eat what's put in front of them!"

Naturally even then my first thought ran to - wanker!

What I should have said, and I only thought of recently, was, "Well lucky for you that your kids have palettes made of cow's arse leather!"

As comebacks go, it's not the best ever. It's not even the best one I've ever come up with. Still it has it's merits. It is doubly offensive in that it implies a) that her kids are a bit dim and b) that she's a rubbish cook.

Anyway, like I say, this occurred to me the other day and I couldn't resist sharing it.

Have a good Saturday.

JR