What's in a Name?

I've been thinking about names recently. This has been brought on by starting a new job and my subsequent battle to learn the names of my colleagues. What adds another layer of complexity to this is the subject of nicknames and the etiquette of addressing people by them. Now obviously there are some that are absolutely fine; they are usually abbreviations of standard first names which appear on name tags and are universally used. Where I get a bit more uncomfortable is when the nicknames aren't so obvious. One in particular I'm thinking of is a corruption of the individual's sirname. It's not in the least offensive or controversial but at the same time I don't really feel comfortable using it - well not until I've been invited to at least.

Part of this stems from my own name. My "formal" name as I will now refer to it appears on my birth certificate. It's not in the least unusual, embarrassing and I actually rather like it. However since I can remember, parents and friends have referred to me by another name; not exactly an abbreviation but an informal version of my birth certificate name. Again I don't have a problem with that. I do however have a problem with some of the common abbreviations of my name. I can't put my finger on why, they just grate on me and I don't particularly like them. Generally I won't kick up a huge fuss if the abbreviations are used but I will ask whoever used it to desist.

Now here's where it gets confusing. Up until I was about 17, I was pretty much universally known by the informal version of my name. The only documents that had my formal name were my birth certificate, passport and driving licence. Even at school I was known by the informal version. This changed (a bit) when I got to Uni. I made the application in my formal name because I thought that was more appropriate. An ID check was also required so applying in my formal name removed a potential administrative hurdle.

Fairly quickly, as a way of breaking down social barriers, I invited people who I was friends with to use the informal version of my name. It sounds really pompous I know but it wasn't intended to be and I don't think it came across as such but it was a good way to generate a bit of informality. This generated a slightly odd situation where fairly soon I became known by my informal name off duty and my formal name in an academic context.

With me so far?

A few years later I moved down south. At this point I became known almost exclusively by my formal name. This was largely due to the fact that I was rarely in informal social situations. it also had a large part to do with the fact that I spent a lot of time with people who didn't speak English as a first language and who struggled to pronounce the informal version of my name (that and the fact that in some cultures it's androgynous and in others it's a female name). It is now how I'm almost universally known south of the border. It has created a slightly strange situation where half my really close friends know me by one name and half by another. Stranger still, my girlfriend knows me by my formal name (although that's partially due to the fact that her grandmother's dog was also known by my informal name).

Where am I going with this? Essentially I understand that some people are known almost exclusively by nicknames as I have been in the past but, as I've got older, I have become a bit uncomfortable with people using my accepted nickname without invitation. The over familiarity grates a bit; especially if I don't like the person! Therefore I am very wary of using nicknames of others, especially at work where the emphasis is very definitely on formality.

In the mean time I will sign off with an (assumed) nickname.

JR

Jobs (yet again)!

I was accused of being erudite the other day. This is not a word I would usually use to describe myself although I will certainly not object to it! I suppose it's a side effect of having many extremely intelligent and articulate friends that I feel at best on a par.

Either way, the comment came about because of a conversation with someone I now consider a good friend regarding job searches.

As a bit of background, this person in question is a good friend of my parent's next door neighbour. When I moved to the same area, my parent's next door neighbour introduced us a) so I would have at least one familiar face in the new town and b) because he has many friends who may prove useful contacts in my seemingly eternal hunt for a job. When we eventually met, we got on extremely well. Despite the fact that we have fairly dissimilar backgrounds (and quite an age difference) we have a very similar outlook on life so "gelled" quickly.

Coincidentally we both found ourselves in similar positions; looking for jobs and ideally on the hurry up and both found ourselves in utterly shit temporary jobs feeling vastly over qualified and under utilised. I don't wish to sound like a snob but this position is utterly soul destroying. Over the years I have worked extremely hard both academically and in extra curricular activities. Part of this is because the work and hobbies were interesting and fun but always in the back of my mind was the thought that I was building up a damn good CV which would stand me proud when it came to joining the real world and getting a proper job. Over the last few months I have often questioned what the point was. I could have just as easily spent my youth sitting on the sofa scratching my bolllocks; I still wouldn't have a proper job but at least I wouldn't have the sense of wasted effort. I know that's really fatalistic but it's not always easy to stay positive - despite the fact that I use Hugh Laurie's character from the 4th series of Blackadder as a role model for attitude; mindless optimism with blank denial of the bad bits.

Part of the problem I have is the fact that my CV is very academic. I have a good degree from a good university. That's great but lots of people have that. In addition to this I have post-graduate legal qualifications which, in theory, give me the basic knowledge to practise as a solicitor. Now these are great in that they have given me loads of examples of transferable skills and knowledge of the commercial world that I wouldn't have had otherwise in addition to the legal knowledge. The disadvantage is that potential employers look at them and think that I will run away to become a lawyer at the first opportunity. Now being a lawyer is still potentially on the cards but I'm by no means set on it. The qualifications were done as much to make me employable as to give me specific legal knowledge. I certainly didn't play at being a lawyer as a child or anything. However it's not easy convincing potential employers of this. The other thing that is happening when I apply for a lot of entry level positions just to get a start and some income is that I get rejected and told that I'm overqualified. Now while I don't dispute that I'm very qualified, I don't necessarily see that as a problem; ultimately I am prepared to work extremely hard and surely that is far more important?

My other major problem is that, partially because I have spent so long as a student, I don't really have much in the way of work experience and what I do have is either student holiday work or low level admin. Not brilliant springboards especially with the age-old cliche "must have experience".

I also know I'm not great at selling myself. I suffer the very British affliction of being self-deprecating (but I'm not very good at it). Promoting my qualities doesn't come easily; especially with the frequent rejections. It's hard not to take them personally. Give me a cause to fight on behalf of someone else and I will be loyal as a labrador, tenacious as a terrier and as ruthless as a rottweiler (and yes I am quite proud of that) but ask me to do it for myself and I become mute as a malimut (ok I'm taking it a bit far now)

One final fault is that I am still rather ignorant of the private sector and what large swathes of it do. I grew up with two parents who worked in the public sector so I'm relatively up on various aspects of that. I am also comfortable with the idea of what goes on in the academic world but I feel like a fish out of water with the corporate world. I understand major professions; law, accountancy, journalism, etc but a lot of the rest is a mystery to me. This makes it hard to be creative when it comes to job searching. How do you look for something that you don't actually know exists? I refuse to believe the graduate job market is so saturated that there isn't a place for me in it; especially in the area where I am. I am therefore left with the feeling of being in not quite the right place at any given time; like I'm at a tea-party while all my mates are at a riotous knees-up a few doors down that was organised spontaneously while I was at a dental appointment.

What is particularly galling is watching friends who are objectively no more employable than I am (or in some cases less so) sailing from solid, good job to solid, good job. They might not be the ones that kids dream about when growing up but never the less they are challenging and decently paid. It's hard not to become bitter and cynical. Where it has caused genuine friction is where the girlfriend is concerned. Because she did a vocational degree, there was a guarantee of a job at the end and a well paid one at that (albeit terrible to do as a job). As a result of this, she has absolutely no concept of the grinding pressure, the distress and sometimes the outright depression caused by being unemployed, job hunting and the stream of rejection. Albeit my campaign hasn't been conducted perfectly but she seems to think that my lack of success is due to little more than laziness. What compounds this stress is the the associated lack of understanding of what it is to be well and truly broke. She gets annoyed when I curtail suggestions on the grounds of cost not realising that when one has no income, no immediate prospect of income and limited funds suddenly going out to dinner or to see a film or to visit an attraction with an entry fee find themselves fairly firmly at the bottom of the priority list.

Anyway, enough moaning. At the moment I am fortunate enough to have a long-term temporary job that will see me comfortably until well past Christmas at least. That's no end of a relief. I also have the prospect of something more permanent coming up but I don't want to say too much about that at the moment for fear of jinxing it.

Have a good day everyone.

JR