The Marches Mystery Solved

I grew up in a small town called Linlithgow. The town its self is centuries old and boasts a suitably distinguished historical record. Mary Queen of Scots was born there, Robert Burns joined the freemasons there and (for any Star Trek fans out there) Scotty was born there.

As with any place of great age, there are many traditions that have risen up around the place. One of the most notable is the Marches. Today it takes the form of a parade with bands, floats and local dignitaries. This is usually followed by a trip to a travelling fare and much revelry. The origins of this tradition were not quite so relaxed. It was originally a patrol by those that run the town to check the security of the boundaries.

The Marches for me holds many special memories. It is always on the first Tuesday after the second Thursday in June when the whole town shut down and came together to celebrate where we lived. As a kid I remember enjoying the parades, the candyfloss and the strategic planning of my position to maximise the chances of the bands playing when they passed.

Every year, one particular tune was always played. I have heard it on the pipes, by a marching windband and on the flutes and drums. Every time I hear it I get taken straight back to my childhood and the anticipation of a good day out (as well as the certain knowledge that the summer holidays were round the corner).

For years I have wondered what the tune is called. I had always thought of getting a copy for nostalgia purposes. Music has never really bothered me as an activity in itsself but certain pieces can reliably provoke certain memories (hence the eclectic mix on my itunes when it hasn't been wiped). The trouble is, I never had any idea what it was called. I asked everyone I could think of. I even contemplated writing to my former history teacher who is an authority on local history (I didn't because it would have been impossible to describe it other than "the marches tune"). I have heard a tantalising snippet on a holywood pirate film where it was being played as a sea shanty. I also have a copy being played at the Edinburgh Tattoo however it was part of a medley and individual tunes were not identified.

Yesterday was Marches day this year and I idly browsed through youtube watching old parades when I heard this tune again (admittedly in poor quality recording). Coincidentally, there was an article in the paper about the 10 best music identifying websites. I thought that I would give them a try. Sadly none were successful. I blame youtube. I could only find short snippets of poor quality. I tried with the sorftware buit with no luck. Eventually, I hit a random looking link with the hope of finding a better version for searching.

Lo and behold I did along with a full title. A quick search later suggest, 'the marches tune" might not be the worst name for it. It certainly has a long history with the town and is apparently regarded quite posessively by many of it's residents. Unfortunately I'm struggling to find a copy to download although the search will continue.

Overall I'm pleased I finally found this out. Its a sense of satisfaction after so many years spent searching.

JR

Ps, if you're interested, search 'The Roke' on youtube. The first video will take you to the tune in question. Enjoy.

101

No not my personal room 101 choices for Orwellian torture (although those may come another day) but the non-emergency police telephone number. This morning was the first time I've called it and I have to say, I'm impressed.
True to purpose, my call was far from an emergency. The traffic lights at a major road junction had gone out. Although traffic was just about moving it was more than a little chaotic and a few sets of screeching tyres suggested an accident was not far off. It was also extremely dangerous to cross given there were six lanes of traffic to negotiate, all with cars taking their chances where they saw them. All it needed to restore order was a police officer to take control of the junction and restore order.

In years gone by, reporting this would be a problem. Not many people I know keep the local police station number saved in their phones (and in any case, this wasn't strictly local to me) and dialling 999 for a bit of traffic control seems a little extreme.

I called 101 and was connected pretty much immediately to the local constabulary (slightly scary how they knew that but let's overlook that bit for the time being). There was an option to change the force one was connected to but that's where the, "press one to..." routine ended. My call was answered quickly and by someone who spoke and understood (there is a difference) English fluently. Two minutes later, I had passed over all the relevant details, got a genuine sounding thanks from the lady at the end of my phone and was back one my way to work; job done. Beyond the usual complications of describing one's location to someone who isn't there and may not know the area, it really was that simple.

There have been many gimmicky ideas to do with emergency services over the last few years however this was unequivocally not one.

Slightly random post I know but hopefully it's raised awareness of the phone number if nothing else.

JR

Diamond Jubilee

Well, that was quite a show. Three days of pretty much non-stop celebration. Then again, the likelihood any of us will ever see something similar is slim to none.

What did you do?

In my case, Sunday was spent with friends. The original plan was to have a picnic in Wandsworth park (just up river from where the pagent started), watch the boats marshalling then watch the pagent proper on telly. We thought the BBC coverage would give us better views; not least of Pippa Middleton's bottom!

In the end, the weather wasn't playing nice so we went indoors for food as well. I was glad I saw some 'live'. I have grown up in, around and falling out of boats so it would have been a real shame to miss such a genuinely unique maratime spectacle.

What a spectacle it was too. People spent ages mouthing off about Canaletto but really, life was imitating art. The whole thing appeared to go off flawlessly. The only thing that disappointed me a bit was the BBC coverage. It was never really sure what it was doing. When it wasn't focussing on the Queen, it was showing pundits babbling banal crap or eliciting monosylabic responses from members of the public. All well and good but it would have been nice to see more of the boats. That was kind of the point after all. I don't think the coverage went behind the man-powered ones. It seems a shame to miss out on such a momentous event. Not only that, they missed out on the music boats. Why? They were all sounding fantastic as they warmed up. I am deeply disappointed not to have seen the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra's boat play the Bond theme as it passed the MI6 building (and the Sunseeker from the pre-credits sequence of The World Is Not Enough come to that). And there was a woeful lack of Pippa's bottom!

On the subject of the orchestra boat; well done to the Choir at the end. They were beyond soaked. I think they would have been drier going head-first into the Thames yet they continued regardless. A uniquely British twist I think.

The Queen and Prince Phillip stood the entire way from what I could see. An achievement in itsself for many people their age and worthy of respect. However, is it just me or should some form of weather protection have been built into the boat? It is likely that this event contributed to the infection which is currently detaining Prince Phillip in hospital.

Yesterday was the concert. I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. By all accounts it was quite a show. I did however manage to watch the fireworks from my girlfriend's balcony. They were rather good and had colours other than red, white and blue!

The final day of celebrations was today. It started with a service of commemoration. Yet again I didn't watch it although I have seen photos. All I'm going to say is that, by the looks of it, Rowan Williams could save the health service a fortune by acting as an anaesthetic. Half the congregation was asleep. To be fair to him, the younger royals looked like they had had a thoroughly good night the night before. Who can blame them?

One thing I did notice was that Catherine (Kate) was giving her sister a run for her money when walking up the steps to the cathedral! Am I allowed to compliment the Duchess' bottom or is that treason? Either way; after the service there was a procession back to the palace followed by a flypast by the RAF. Again, I didn't make it it into Central London. I did however see the flypast. The classic planes are beautiful. There's no other word for it. The engine sounds alone make my pulse go a few notches quicker. As for the Red Arrows; I defy anyone not to stand a few inches taller when they see them in action. One thing that amuses me is that they never break formation. One wonders if they even pee in a specific pattern!

The whole weekend was, undeniably, one hell of a show. I would argue that there's nowhere else in the world where one could see even a percentage of the spectacle that London saw this weekend. In a way, I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to see more of it in the flesh. The atmosphere would have been electric (if a bit damp). On the other hand, I woud have been crowded up amongst other randoms. Something that brings out the worst in me. A happy medium might have been to do it as a St. John duty however I could have been put somewhere miles away from the action. Not only that, I know I would concentrate on the duty rather than the event so it sort of negates the point.

Either way I watched history being made this weekend and I'm profoundly grateful I have done. Regardless of how you feel about the monarchy politically, this spectacle was incredible and one to be proud of.

Hope you enjoyed it too.

JR

Brain Teaser

I was filling out a job application yesterday. One of the questions asked me to name somebody I admired and state why. I had quite a job narrowing it down (Ian Fleming if you're interested) but it did make me think about people I admired. It also reminded me of a semi-sober conversation I had at uni. The essential question was; which ten people, dead or alive, would you invite to a dinner party?

I can't remember exactly who I chose but I'm willing to bet it wouldn't have been too different from who I would choose now. Here goes:

1) Churchill. Great leader, great politician and by all accounts excellent company. In short, a no-brainer.

2) Baroness Thatcher. Again, even if you don't like her policies, her leadership style must be admired. Plus, she's a scientist turned lawyer. Guaranteed interesting conversation.

3) Boris. Coz he's Boris. Does one need a better reason than that? He seems intelligent, witty, charming, funny and extremely eccentric.

4) Jeremy Clarkson. One of the last practitioners of free speech in the UK. He is sharp, funny and provides entertainment to millions. Even if you don't like what he says, odds are you'll love to hate him.

5) Ian Hyslop. I think he is the jewel in the crown of Have I Got News For You. He's sharp, clever and unfalteringly funny. Even Merton can't boast that all the time in my opinion. Plus, I think it would be rather amusing to watch him, Clarkson and Boris winding each other up.

6) Billy Connolly. One of the funnies beards/men ever to live. He seems to. exude wit and warmth perpetually. As well as being funny, he's deeply thoughtful. And who wouldn't want a man with a purple beard at the dinner table?

7) Ian Flemming. His pen created James Bond, "the spy story to end all spy stories" and arguably a genre in itsself. I would dearly love to meet him and where better than a hopefully sophisticated surrounding with plenty to drink.

8) Heston Blumental. I love food and I love cooking. With most chefs, I can understand the ideas behind their dishes and possibly have a stab at some sort of facsimile of them. Blumental's food bends my mind. It would be incredible to meet him, if only to ask where he starts when developing an idea.

9) Gen Sir Peter de la Billiere. General de la Billiere was tri-service commander on the ground during the first gulf war. He was commanding officer of the SAS during the Iranian Embassy seige. He has been involved in most major conflicts since Korea, almost always in a hands on manner. It would be incredible to hear his stories. And hopefully his presence along with Churchill and Flemming would cause the party to degenerate into a mess-style party.

10) Finally there is a tie between Oscar Wilde and Sir John Mortimer QC. Both writers. Both known for a quick turn of phrase. Both known to lap up decadence with ease. I'm genuinely not sure how to choose between them. Perhaps I won't then just "miscount" the place settings.

For the meal? I'm not sure. Nothing too technical and complex... I would want to concentrate on the company not the food. Also, I'm feeding one of the greatest chefs on the planet. Better to play safe and do it well rather than trying to over complicate everything and muck it up. Will have to ensure plenty drink and ash trays though!

JR

The Other Guys

This post is part plug, part genuine enthusiasm and wholly seasoned with large amounts of nostalgia. The title relates to an all-male a cappella band made up of St. Andrews University students. I must admit, during my time there I hadn't really heard of them. I was vaguely aware of one of the other bands through a mutual friend but I thought that's where it ended. How wrong I was.

The Other Guys gained prominence last year when they released a song coupled with a video about the Royal Wedding where the gentlemen of the group sang about their undying love for Kate Middleton (well who wouldn't?) to the tune of Lady Gaga... while dancing. Much as it sounds like a musical car crash, it was extremely funny as the subsequent stratospheric viewing figures showed.

This year, they have released another song, this time to raise money for breast cancer care. This time it's on a theme close to the hearts of most men in St. Andrews... St. Andrews Girls. The breed of beautiful girls that seem to inhabit the town sporting Ugg/Hunter boots, Barbour jackets and pashminas galore. Who said Sloane Street doesn't extend to Scotland?

An article in the Telegraph around the time of the Royal Wedding last year had a similar description of St. Andrews girls and gained much criticism for being patronising, chauvinistic and generally unpleasant. However this, in my opinion, was misplaced. The description is an affectionate one meant as a gentle parody of the inevitable informal dress codes and traditions that evolve in such an institution. Obviously, not everybody conforms but it's still fun to play with. To the people that complain that it portrays the females who attend St. Andrews as airheads, I would like to point out the continued academic excellence of St. Andrews, coupled to the fact that the majority of the students are girls.

All this is a slight digression from what is essentially a funny and charming video. Buy it, even if you don't like it; the money goes to a good cause.

JR

Fountain Pens MK II

There have been a number of articles in the press lately about fountain pens; mainly people singing their praises. It all started with a letter to the Telegraph (where else?) asking if anyone still used them. This prompted a number of rousing testimonials in their favour in the pages of the same newspaper. Further research by a bored journalist or two suggest that sales are increasing year on year as people buy pens both as presents and as small luxury items.

Reading all this makes me feel like something of a trend setter; not something I'm entirely comfortable with given I'm a dedicated Telegraph reader (we don't really do change). As I have mentioned, I have written with a fountain pen since I was about 12 and have no intention of changing any time soon.

I have however bought a couple of new pens. Neither are anything ground-breaking but both were reasonably priced which means I am happy to take them into the office and let them suffer the abuse that is office life. My current pen picked up a small dent from either being in my pocket or my bag causing the thread to slightly loosen on the barrel. Net result; there's cosmetic damage and it can disassemble in my pocket. The first was genuinely heartbreaking since I've had that pen for over ten years and used it in all my major exams and for all important correspondence. The latter is unfortunate because it has lead to ink stains on some brand new shirts (thank you Prof. Google for providing instructions oh how to remove them). The new pens were bought  because I didn't want to sacrifice the pleasure of writing with a decent pen day-to-day but equally, I don't want to risk damaging something which I genuinely treasure.

I was chatting to my dad about these articles as he is also a devotee of fountain pens. In fact, it's fair to say that my love of them is probably received wisdom. We have decided to get my nephew (well my cousin's sprog but it's the closest I'm going to get) a decent pen for his birthday, spurred by the fact that the headmaster of his school was quoted in one of the articles as insisting pupils wrote with a fountain pen in their formative years to try and break them into good habits. Although dad and I both write with Cross pens on a day-to-day basis and have a fondness for classic Parkers (not to mention an almost romantic love of Mont Blanc) we are erring on the side of the Lamy that has been specifically designed for kids. I had a Lamy years ago and, from what I can remember, it was a nice pen to write with. Added to that, it's designed to be fairly robust and kidproof, had a grip designed to encourage a child's hand into the proper handwriting position and has a tab in the clip where names can be written... vital! Oh and it can take a converter so it can be filled from a bottle. I don't think my cousin (or her immaculate white sofas) will thank me if I encourage this but I'm not sure I can resist!

JR

Friendship

Today's post was going to be a rant about cyclists but frankly, bugger that. I'm feeling too positive.

I've had the pleasure of catching up with two genuinely good friends today. One was a swift phone call. The kind we all mean to make all the time. For no specific reason I did and I'm glad I did - for no other reason than it was good to catch up with them. I first met them almost 8 years ago when we worked together in a residential kids camp. We clicked immediately. The rest, as they say, is history.

The other friend again, I have known for at least eight years. We were at uni together and part of the same club. We always got on well then got really close in our final two years (although it transpired that we had grown up in vaguely similar social circles... Certainly we would have attended many of the same events as kids). Anyway, she was one of the few people I actively kept in touch with after I graduated (no offence, I just freely admit that I'm awful at stating in touch with people). Rather randomly, she moved down south not long after I did then eventually to London. Although we meet up virtually every week, this is the first time in a long time we've had a serious conversation rather than the usual every day stuff. Part of the conversation revolved around how much we had changed since we first met and reflecting that being a grownup was actually quite fun.

Anyway, enough sentimental rambling for now.

JR